Understanding why grief feels so physical, why someone still reaches for the phone to call someone who’s gone, or why certain memories can trigger intense emotions years after a loss can provide valuable insight for those helping others who are experiencing grief or for those who want to know more about grief. And today, we’re diving into the neuroscience behind grief.

In this episode, Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor joins Dr. Aimie to discuss how grief isn’t just an emotional response but a complex learning process as our brains adapt to a fundamentally changed reality. She introduces the critical distinction between grief and grieving, highlighting how our attachment patterns influence our grief journey. Her fascinating research on yearning reveals that this powerful sensation activates the same brain regions involved with other basic survival needs, explaining why the feeling can be so intense and overwhelming.

The conversation also goes into how avoidance and rumination can interfere with natural healing, and that the intensity and frequency of grief waves will change over time as part of the grieving process.

Whether you’re currently navigating grief, supporting someone who is, or simply preparing for inevitable losses, this episode will help you understand why healing isn’t “getting over” a loss, but an ever evolving process that fundamentally changes our reality.

Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor is a Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona. Her research focuses on the physiological correlates of emotion, in particular the wide range of physical and emotional responses during bereavement, including yearning and isolation. She believes that a clinical science approach toward the experience and mechanisms of grieving can improve interventions for prolonged grief disorder, newly included in the revised DSM-5.