The Impact of Early Attachment Shocks: How Unexpected Stressors Can Cause Developmental Trauma & What To Do

I’ve seen firsthand how unexpected stressors early in life, which I call “heart shocks,” can disrupt a baby’s sense of safety, trust, and healthy attachment. 

In this podcast, I explain what causes these heart shocks and how they can impact a child.

What is a “Heart Shock”?

One of the most important concepts I teach is “heart shocks.” 

A heart shock refers to an unexpected shock to our sense of attachment and safety.  It overwhelms a baby or young child’s system and physiology.

We’re all wired from a very early age to expect care, protection, and having our needs met. Infants come into this world with the assumption that we will be taken care of and protected. 

So when something happens that goes against these expectations, it causes a shock.

One of the key elements that make an event a “heart shock” is the fact that it is unexpected. Babies and young children do not have the ability to anticipate stressors or understand why unexpected things happen. 

When something occurs without warning that is contrary to their basic needs, it overwhelms their system.

Because it is so abrupt and compressed, a heart shock does not allow the body to go through its normal stress response cycle. Instead of having time to feel stressed and then take action, the body has an immediate trauma response. 

This response involves a rapid shift between states of heightened arousal and shutdown that is difficult for the system to process.

Without the ability to properly complete its response, this overwhelming experience gets stored in the body. 

It remains an unresolved trauma that can severely disrupt a child’s sense of safety, trust, and attachment to caregivers.

Some common causes of heart shocks in infancy and early childhood include birth complications, separation from caregivers after birth, maternal depression, medical procedures, physical injuries, and abuse. 

In my practice, I’ve seen how even one unexpected stressful event early in a child’s life can have lasting impacts on their development.

Cellular Changes from Early Life Stress

When a baby or young child experiences an unexpected stressful event or “heart shock,” it triggers a trauma response at the cellular level. I’ve studied extensively how this early stress shifts the way a child’s body functions.

The immediate effect of a heart shock is that the body goes into a “survival mode.” 

At the cellular level, energy that would normally go towards growth and development gets redirected towards survival and energy conservation instead.

Bracing in the tissues and muscles develops.  This is because it is a way of disconnecting from the pain in our hearts and body. It causes increased tension in some muscle groups as the body braces itself, while other muscle groups experience a lack of tone. On a systems level, we see impacts on the digestive system, immune dysregulation, and changes in the autonomic nervous system.

The nervous system becomes wired over time to be in a more reactive state. It also develops patterns of perceiving cues of danger, even when there is no real threat present. 

This neuroception response gets shaped by early life experiences of stress through the attachment relationship.

Without the ability to properly process traumatic events, these stressful experiences become deeply ingrained on a biological level. 

The chronic stress response and dysregulation that results is what I refer to as a “biology of trauma.”

It’s clear to me that these cellular changes from early life stress have lasting impacts. They increase a child’s risk for issues like chronic disease, attachment problems, and difficulties with self-regulation that can persist well into adulthood without intervention and support.

Impact on Attachment and Development

I’ve seen how unexpected stressors like heart shocks can severely disrupt a child’s sense of safety, trust, and ability to form secure attachments.

Attachment is crucial to an infant’s survival, as they cannot care for themselves and rely completely on caregivers to meet their needs. 

When a heart shock occurs without a trusted caregiver to help the child process what happened, this unresolved trauma gets stored in the body.

Without being able to complete the trauma response, a heart shock compromises the degree of internal regulation a baby develops. This affects their neuroception, or innate ability to perceive safety and danger, which is shaped by early attachment experiences.

Neuroception forms the basis for how safe or threatened a child feels in the world. When a heart shock occurs, it wires the nervous system to see danger even when there is no real threat present. This is because the unexpected happened before, so it could happen again. I’ve seen time and time again how this disrupted sense of safety and attachment can have profound impacts.  It increases the risk of health issues, attachment problems like difficulty trusting others, and issues with self-regulation that can persist into adulthood without proper support.

By understanding how early life stress shapes development, we can better help children and families heal from trauma by restoring their sense of safety, trust, and secure attachments through compassionate care.

Overcoming Trauma with Compassion

As a child development expert who has helped many adults heal from early life adversity, I’ve found compassion to be key. 

For those with a history of heart shocks or other trauma, believing recovery is possible feels impossible at times.

This is because a part of them continues to feel the effects of that initial overwhelm – like the trauma is still happening or they don’t deserve relief from pain. Without realizing it, people protect this vulnerable part that experienced trauma by avoiding difficult memories and self-sabotaging progress.

In my practice, the most powerful intervention is showing unconditional care, acceptance, and safety towards all aspects of the person – including parts experiencing ongoing distress. 

When individuals feel truly seen and not judged for having survived through adversity, they can start to face painful memories without fear.

Rather than trying to immediately “fix” or problem-solve this vulnerable inner child part, I find it most helpful to act as a “hero” or “savior” figure by simply being present without an agenda. 

This allows the relationship and sense of trust to develop first before deeper trauma processing.

Through micro-dosing safety, compassion, and patience, it is amazing to witness how people can reclaim their lives by regaining a sense of control over their internal experiences and responses to the present moment. Healing from early life trauma is an incredible journey of reconnecting with our innate resilience.