Today on Biology of Trauma, we hear from Heather, a graduate of the online 21-day journey to calm aliveness. After seeing the positive impact of addressing her trauma, Heather continued with her mentor training program to lead somatic exercises and mentor others on their healing journey. In this episode, we tackle how to help your family heal from trauma.

You’ll learn:

Heather struggled with traumatic attachment her entire life. After losing her birth mother as an infant, Heather was adopted by a loving family. She and her husband then adopted children of their own, not knowing the impact that unaddressed trauma would have on their family. The challenges of motherhood exacerbated the defense mechanisms that she believed were just a part of her personality but had resulted from the fear of death after losing her mother. The 21-day journey enabled Heather to experience joy and gave her the capacity to be present in a way she had never felt before.

When your loved ones are struggling, you want to do everything to save them, but the journey of self-discovery happens within. The best way you can support your family is to support yourself. By healing your trauma first, you invite your family to join you in that space of calm aliveness. Unfortunately, you can’t unburden someone from their trauma, but if you can work out your feelings of overwhelm, your capacity for love grows, which is the first step to healing your family.

Timestamps:

• [2:12] How Heather’s childhood trauma created a need for perfection
• [5:10] When trauma shapes the development of the nervous system
• [9:10] Attachment wounds limit your capacity to connect in authentic relationships
• [11:00] Life experiences become your biology and can evolve into health issues
• [16:00] If you want your family to heal, you need to do your own trauma work
• [18:00] Learning to connect to your bodies sensations again
• [20:37] Understanding and recognizing that your inner critic is a survival mechanism
• [22:50] Listening to the messages from your body to shift into calm aliveness
• [26:00] Gaining the capacity to be fully present and experience  joy
• [29:00] Allowing yourself to be loved and love in return without any judgment
• [32:50] It is never too late to start your healing journey