The Question Every Woman with Autoimmunity Asks

“Why is this happening to me?”

Up to 80% of patients with autoimmune disease experienced significant emotional distress before getting sick, yet most women with autoimmune conditions never make this connection. If you’re a high-functioning woman living with autoimmunity, this haunting question has likely consumed your thoughts during those 3 AM moments when symptoms flare and sleep feels impossible.

The answer lies not in your genetics or bad luck, but in something far more hopeful—the Biology of Trauma®, and your body’s incredible capacity to heal when we understand what it truly needs.

The Autoimmune Profile: Why Some Bodies Say “Enough”

Autoimmunity targets a specific profile with remarkable consistency. The perfectionists. The people pleasers. The pusher-throughers. Those who’ve learned to disconnect from their bodies because it doesn’t feel safe to be their authentic selves and to rest.

With some exceptions, autoimmunity seems drawn to women who are high functioning. These are bodies without boundaries—people who hold it all inside, who turn their anger inward toward themselves rather than expressing it outwardly.

I’ll never forget staring at that lab report in my rheumatologist’s office, seeing those antibody titers at 840 to one, feeling discouraged, depleted, lost. I knew it was a sign my body was holding trauma, but I didn’t understand why, how, or where exactly to go from there.

What I’ve discovered through my own healing journey and work with thousands of patients is this: autoimmunity is a biology of trauma that’s been building for decades.

How Long Does Autoimmunity Actually Take to Develop?

For most people, autoimmunity takes decades to develop. Your autoimmune condition didn’t start when you received your diagnosis. It started as a biology of trauma that built and accumulated until finally, there was an epigenetic trigger—what we call allostatic load.

Research indicates a higher prevalence of autoimmune conditions such as lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and multiple sclerosis among individuals with a history of childhood trauma. But here’s what’s crucial to understand: this doesn’t mean you’re doomed by your past.

The immune system, more than any other system in our whole body, is a window into our life. Our whole life. If your immune system could speak, would it say life has been a journey of safety, connection, and vitality? Or would it tell a different story of pushing through, perfectionism, and never feeling quite safe enough to rest?

The Biology of Trauma Framework: What’s Really Happening in Your Body

When we experience trauma—whether it’s “too much too fast” or “too little for too long”—our nervous system dysregulation creates specific, measurable changes in our biology. Trauma can lead to prolonged activation of the body’s stress response, which may result in chronic inflammation—a key factor in autoimmune disorders.

The Cellular Cascade: How Trauma Becomes Autoimmunity

Nervous System Dysregulation creates the foundation for everything that follows. This triggers:

Increased Oxidative Stress: The biological marker that sets the autoimmune cascade in motion.

Activated Microglia: These immune cells in your brain cause the brain fog and decision fatigue you might recognize. When you can’t think clearly after a stressful day or feel mentally exhausted making simple decisions, this is often your body signaling nervous system dysregulation.

Mitochondrial Dysfunction: Your cellular energy factories become damaged by oxidative stress. Your body literally makes less energy—which is why you have less energy. This leads to the crushing fatigue that no amount of coffee or willpower can overcome.

Protein and DNA Damage: This is where autoimmunity becomes an epigenetic condition. Chronic stress from trauma can suppress the immune system, making the body more susceptible to infections and diseases, while simultaneously triggering autoimmune responses.

The Daily Reality: How This Shows Up in Your Life

Do you recognize these patterns?

• Waking up already tired, despite adequate sleep
• Brain fog that makes simple tasks feel overwhelming
• Digestive issues that flare with stress
• Joint pain and stiffness that comes and goes
• Feeling emotionally reactive when symptoms worsen
• The sense that “everything feels hard”

These aren’t separate problems—they’re all connected through your biology of trauma.

The Vicious Cycle: Why Autoimmunity Perpetuates Itself

Here’s what makes autoimmune conditions so challenging: once we have this biology of trauma, it creates a feedback cycle. The same biological changes—the microglia activation, mitochondrial dysfunction, and oxidative stress—now become signals of danger for our nervous system.

Have you noticed that when your autoimmune symptoms flare up, your emotional regulation also becomes more difficult? This is the science of how your body works. You cannot separate emotional regulation from nervous system dysregulation, and you cannot separate nervous system dysregulation from these biological changes.

The danger signals are coming from inside your own body. You can’t run away from yourself, and this creates the internal experience many describe as “pushing through everything” and “life feels hard.”

Every time you shame yourself, your body goes into the biology that perpetuates autoimmunity. Those moments of self-criticism? Your nervous system registers them as danger signals, continuing the cycle.

The Hidden Truth: The Tension Between Safety and Authenticity

For many with autoimmunity, it often doesn’t feel safe to be authentic. We can talk about living authentically all day long, but if it doesn’t feel safe to be authentic, what is your body going to do?

It’s going to make you sick.

This is when you experience a flare-up in your autoimmune symptoms. You wake up with swollen, aching joints, and if you’re insightful, you realize: “That’s right, I tried to be my authentic self yesterday.”

Your body responds with: “No, that is not safe. To protect you, I’m going to bring up these symptoms so you won’t have the energy to be your authentic self. We must stay hidden.”

The Autoimmune Paradox

• Being authentic triggers symptoms → You learn to hide your true self
• Hiding your true self creates internal stress → This feeds the autoimmune cycle
• The cycle continues → Until you learn to create genuine inner safety

This is the essence of autoimmunity: the tension between safety and authenticity. Your body learned early that being your true self might not be safe, so it developed sophisticated ways to protect you—including autoimmune responses that force you to rest and withdraw.

The Three Levels of Repair: Beyond Diet and Supplements

Reversing autoimmunity requires addressing what trauma has impacted: mind, body, and biology. While diet and supplements matter, true healing happens when we repair all three levels where trauma has left its mark.

Level 1: Mind Repair – Rewiring Your Internal Dialogue

How many times today have you criticized yourself? Our thoughts have been broken through patterns of self-criticism and internal dialogue that our body doesn’t recognize as jokes.

Practical Mind Repair Tools:

• Catch automatic criticisms: “I’m so stupid” becomes “I made a mistake”
• Replace self-attack with self-compassion: “I’m struggling right now, and that’s human”
• Practice neutral self-talk: Instead of “I hate my body,” try “My body is working hard to heal”

The goal is shifting from “I am the problem” to “I’m having a human experience and learning to respond differently.”

Level 2: Body (Somatic) Repair – Rewiring Your Nervous System

Your body holds memories of times you didn’t speak up for yourself, times you let others hurt you without boundaries. These have become your default responses. We need to rewire your nervous system at the tissue level.

Daily Somatic Practices for Inner Safety:

• The Pillow Technique: Place a pillow over your stomach while lying down. This creates an immediate felt sense of protection and safety
• Boundary Practice: Stand with your back against a wall for 2-3 minutes daily, feeling supported
• Grounding Touch: Place both hands on your heart, breathe slowly, and repeat: “Right now, I am safe”
• Movement Integration: Gentle stretching or walking while focusing on what feels good in your body

The key is creating new muscle memory that says: “When problems arrive in my life, I can take appropriate action” rather than freezing or pushing through.

Level 3: Biology Repair – Healing at the Cellular Level

This is where we address the oxidative stress, mitochondrial dysfunction, and cellular damage. Chronic illnesses, hormonal imbalances, autoimmune conditions, or prolonged inflammation can place significant demands on your nervous system, reducing its flexibility and capacity to recover from stress.

Essential Biology Repair Components:

• Mitochondrial Support: CoQ10, magnesium, and B-vitamins to restore cellular energy production
• Inflammation Reduction: Omega-3 fatty acids, curcumin, and glutathione support
• Nervous System Nutrients: Adaptogens like ashwagandha and rhodiola to support stress resilience
• Sleep Optimization: 7-9 hours of quality sleep in a cool, dark room with consistent timing
• Gentle Movement: Yoga, walking, or swimming to support lymphatic drainage without triggering stress responses

The Biology-Trauma Connection: Each supplement works better when combined with nervous system regulation. Your body can only heal when it feels safe enough to allocate energy to repair rather than protection.

Creating Inner Safety: The Foundation of All Healing

Much of the autoimmune healing journey starts with simply being willing to connect with your body. When you recognize your autoimmune symptoms flaring in response to trying to be authentic, this is how you know your body is saying it doesn’t yet feel safe.

The Daily Safety Practice Sequence

Morning Safety Check-In (2 minutes):

1. Place hands on heart upon waking
2. Ask: “What does my body need to feel safe today?”
3. Honor the first answer that comes (rest, boundaries, gentle movement)

Midday Regulation Reset (3 minutes):

1. Find a quiet space
2. Take 10 slow breaths, exhaling longer than inhaling
3. Notice: Am I in stress or trauma response? What would help right now?

Evening Integration (5 minutes):

1. Review the day without judgment
2. Acknowledge: “I did my best with the capacity I had”
3. Set intention for tomorrow’s safety needs

We start with daily practices that create an immediate, felt sense of safety. Right here, right now—not while processing childhood trauma or trying to interact with difficult family members—but right here, right now, you are safe enough.

The Healing Timeline: What to Expect on Your Journey

• Immediate (Days 1-30): Nervous system begins to regulate with daily safety practices. You may notice better sleep, reduced anxiety, clearer thinking.
• Short-term (Months 1-6): Body repair accelerates. Energy levels improve, digestive symptoms ease, emotional regulation becomes more consistent.
• Medium-term (Months 6-18): Biology repair deepens. Lab markers may begin normalizing, autoimmune flares become less frequent and severe.
• Long-term (18+ months): Integration of all three levels creates lasting change. Many experience significant symptom reduction or remission.

Remember: Healing happens in layers, and everyone’s timeline is unique. Your body has been protecting you for years or decades—give it time to learn that it’s safe to heal.

The Research Behind Recovery: Why This Approach Works

Emerging research shows that up to 80% of patients with autoimmune disease experienced significant emotional distress before getting sick. This same research points to the hope: when we address the root cause—the biology of trauma—the body can return to health.

Twenty-one of 229 (14%) had a diagnosed autoimmune disease and 17 of these 33 (81%) had PTSD/TBI, showing the clear connection between trauma and autoimmune development.

But here’s what gives me hope: while the scars of childhood trauma may never fully disappear, effective therapy and supportive interventions can enable individuals to lead healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Your Path Forward: From Surviving to Thriving

When people ask me how I reversed my own autoimmunity—achieving symptom-free status with normal labs—I tell them it required understanding that my body wasn’t broken. It was doing exactly what it needed to do to survive, until I gave it what it needed to feel safe enough to heal.

The Roadmap to Recovery

• Phase 1: Foundation Building (Months 1-3)

1. Establish daily safety practices
2. Begin gentle somatic work
3. Address basic biology needs (sleep, nutrition, movement)
   
   

• Phase 2: Deeper Integration (Months 3-12)

1. Expand somatic capacity
2. Work with parts/internal family systems
3. Optimize cellular health and mitochondrial function

• Phase 3: Living Authentically (Months 12+)

1. Practice being authentic in safe relationships
2. Maintain all three levels of repair
3. Become a model of integrated healing for others

The Practitioner’s Perspective

If you’re a healthcare provider working with autoimmune patients, understanding this connection changes everything. Addressing both the mind and body, you can move toward a healthier, more balanced life by incorporating trauma-informed approaches into your practice.

Key Practitioner Tools:

• Screen for trauma history in autoimmune patients
• Incorporate nervous system assessment into treatment plans
• Offer somatic resources alongside medical interventions
• Create psychologically safe environments for authentic expression

The Science of Hope: Why Your Body Can Heal

Your autoimmune condition is not a life sentence. It’s your body’s way of communicating that it needs something different—safety, authenticity, and the right kind of healing that addresses all three levels where trauma has left its mark.

The most important thing to understand: Your body has been trying to protect you. The perfectionism, people-pleasing, and pushing through—these were survival strategies that served you. Now it’s time to help your body feel safe enough to heal.

The healing journey requires patience, the right sequence of repair, and most importantly, the understanding that your responses make perfect sense given what your body has experienced. You’re not broken. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not making it up.

You’re human, and your body is speaking to you. It’s time to listen.