In response to overwhelm, the body tries to keep one safe in different ways. Sometimes our body feels so shaken and shocked that it makes our mind need to disconnect from the pain of it. This is called dissociating. 

Yet, the body still remembers what happened. The impact to our biology doesn’t go away just because we don’t understand or remember something. The impact is how the body keeps track of everything from out past. When we understand that our body is reacting because it is still holding onto something from the past, it can help us uncover what needs to be healed.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk joins Dr. Aimie in this episode to explore the profound nature of trauma – how it affects the body in ways that make it keep score. He explains why trauma is not just about the events but about how those experiences become engrained in our biology, creating patterns that persist long after the danger has passed. This in turn can make trauma something that is truly “unbelievable, unbearable, and overwhelming.”

Our bodies are built to move when we’re in danger. When we can’t move during traumatic events, it changes how our brain works. This conversation looks at why this happens. It also explains how difficult experiences in childhood create patterns in our minds – like an inner roadmap – that shape how we see the world and connect with people as adults.

If you’re working with trauma professionally, supporting someone on their healing journey, or navigating your own recovery, this episode is excellent for understanding how the body keeps score while offering practical actions to reclaim agency, embody healing, and create a life worth living through curiosity and collaboration.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk is a Boston-based psychiatrist, author, researcher and educator. He has spent his career studying how children and adults adapt to traumatic experiences, and has translated emerging findings from neuroscience and attachment research to develop and study a range of treatments for traumatic stress in children and adults.